Smoke near the wheels of a Northwest flight caused 40 passengers to evacuate their plane today in LaCrosse, Wisconsin. After returning from Minneapolis, Northwest Flight 428 was spotted by a landing tower employee to have smoke near the wheels, resulting in passenger evacuation.
After being missing for three years, a 7-year-old boy has been found in New Jersey Thursday. The boys picture was shown at a movie theater in Brick Township, New Jersey, prompting a neighbor who had sighted the boy to alert police. Police have arrested and charged Ellen Lynn Conner, the boys 27-year-old mother, with kidnapping and interference with a custody warrant.
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1) Good lead ... if you stop after the first sentence. Make the next sentence paragraph 2 (and rewrite it -- it seems a bit awkward).
ReplyDelete8.5/10
2) Start your lead with the missing boy, not an introductory clause. Keep your lead to one sentence. And reread the fact set -- you have a fact error in here. It was a TV movie.
0/10 - fact error; please revise