Sunday, February 21, 2010
News Story 1
After crashing her 1988 Cadillac through the front window of a connivance store, a 74-year-old woman then tried to wash it all down with a six-pack of beer. Lyyn Rice of Norwalk, California plowed through Joe's Food Mart and Video in Los Angeles County yesterday evening. No one was injured including the driver, who according to store owner, Joe Awada, got out after the crash and tried to buy Budweiser beer. The store owner fortunately refused to sell the woman beer and instead dialed the police. Los Angeles County sheriff's Lt. Jenny Han explained Rice, who has a medical condition, was taken to a local hospital for medical examination. Police also have put Rice under arrest for driving under the influence, adding that she has posted $15,000 bail.
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I really like your lead ... except for that sound-alike word (it's convenience, not connivance). You also need to say where this happened, so write "through the front window of a Los Angeles County convenience store ...."
ReplyDeleteThe other thing I want to see is some paragraphs! And you need to get the woman's name right -- that's a fact error, so your grade on this assignment is pending until you get that fixed.